Raising Girls

Off late, to add to what I often think – few things I’ve heard from my friends and close people reinforced my thinking on how to raise girls.

Yes, Conventional wisdom.  Raise Girls Strong. Raise Girls Independent. Raise them to stand up for themselves.

But, at the same time : Raise Girls to blend in.  Give benefit of doubt.  Realize his parents are like hers, who cannot change at the tip of hat.  Realize not every man wants to live off his wife’s money. Realize just like the girl, guy also has lot of plans that have perfectly jeopardized because you entered his life.  And he is trying to help, genuinely.  Like you – he needs time to adjust.

If there’s one thing I’ll tell my girl, that will be –  LISTEN. EMPATHIZE. TAKE TIME TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE ASKING OF HIM, HIS FAMILY AND LIFE.

More than anything else –  It’s good to stand up for one selves, but never at the cost of misunderstanding good people and burning bridges and hearts.

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False Expectations

Little Melancholic mooood today.  May be, lack of sleep.

Every one I speak to at work, is so unhappy.  Want to get out, do many things.

My colleague wants to learn DevOps, some one else wants to open their company and what not. I’ve had these thoughts for long – penning down first time.

It is really unfair for a person, object or profession to satisfy the limitless, infinite potential filled human soul.

People say they are unhappy at JOB. And what do you expect from a job?

Money

Self Satisfaction

Challenge

Flexibility

New Technologies, Cutting Edge

And all this from a place, which is driven by Margins  & Profits. Not blaming the employers, but there is only so much anyone can do. What you experience at workplace largely depends on who you report to, and what does you day look like. Nevertheless, its is extremely rare to get a guy who has all his criteria satisfied.

But, why look at JOB to fulfill everything?

Another pet peeve of people is MARRIAGE and SPOUSE. We want so many contradicting things in our life, that lot of times we have no clue what we really want. Only one thing is sure – every one needs someone who loves them unconditionally, no matter what.  But, apart from that – it is unfair for your spouse to meet your wide range of emotional needs.

That’s why. Side Businesses are created.  Hobbies are born. Friends are kept.

Don’t be guilty.

Go on a coffee date with a friend.

Enrol that course and get your kick by starting freelancing.

Sing that song, and dance that tune.

Everytime you are frustrated with someone / something / someplace –  It’s not their fault not to live upto your expectations, it’s your fault to have those on them!

Have a good day and keep rocking!

 

 

#MovieReview3 : A Death in the Gunj

Last night, I scrolled on my Amazon Prime to see if there’s anything new. and Viola! I saw this movie available for streaming. I was screaming with joy, but only inside.  This is Konkana Sen Sharma’s debut directorial, and I wanted to watch it in theater. Couldn’t do since no company at home – so i made some snacks, powered my laptop, put the earphones and snuggled on sofa with a nice comforter while the movie played along.

The film is set in the town of McCluskieganjBihar (now in Jharkhand), India, during the winter of 1979. Its a small family reunion, with father,mother and daughter visiting their parents. Accompanying are the nephew, and the mother’s friend.  Also seen frequently at home are childhood friends who come to keep them company.

There’s nothing to do there – no TV, no cement.  People amuse  themselves by calling fake ghosts, playing kabaddi and dancing to bangla folk songs.  The film’s main protagonist, Shuntu is a reserved boy who is grieving his father, fails his exams and comes on vacation without informing his mother.

What follows is a display of how we treat Shuntu in the common of household situations. The mood, the music and his emotions.  There are multiple threads all woven into one into the movie.  Shuntu is there. All along. When a kid needs something to do. When people need custard. All along, people call him and get things done. The sadistic pleasure people get by making him go inside his shell –  picture perfect.

Ranveer Shorey, newly married and still in affair with Kalki.

Gulshan and Tillotama with young kid. Want to spend some time alone, without the kid. Doesn’t ask what the kid is doing, as long as they get to do what they want.

8 Year Old Girl. Not entertained by rustic village charm, needs somebody to play and talk with her.

Late Om Puri and Tanuja. Couple growing old.  Forgetting things, cannot stand each other.

The closed ones, shun Shuntu and not once we hear anyone telling his name – Shyamlal.  He is there, invisible. Konkana shows the natural degradation of his mood and how no one seems to care. Gun is visible in parts, only to make a natural entry in the climax where he shoots himself.  Kalki, Tillotama, Ranveer – everyone’s flaws are so wide visible when they are with Shuntu. It shows what as a human we are capable of doing, when the other does not revolt.  He is a brainy one, but cannot get a handle of his own life.

The climax is heart breaking. Watch it to feel it.   The background score was haunting, and Vikrant Massey –  you have a new fan.  It is hard to depict what he has shown on the screen – for 1 and half hour.   There are many minute details packed in the film – this is like an old book. Everytime I see this – I am sure to discover something I missed last.

Watch it when you have some free time afterwards. It helps to stay quiet for a while, and sip your favorite beverage and reflect on what you witnessed on the screen.

My rating :  5/5