Opinions and what to do with them

 

All through your life – you have to do something.  Study something,  learn something,  work somewhere and marry someone.  Although what I have outlined are major life decisions – everyday we make hundreds of small decisions that will not impact our life in such a grand scale but nevertheless will be a plus or minus to the current scheme of things. So, what to do with the countless decisions and innumerable opinions on them?  It’s best to remember the definition of OPINION –

a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge

And, it is important to re-iterate that opinions are not necessarily based on FACT or  KNOWLEDGE. By  far, from what I have observed – Opinions largely depend on the person who is making them, influenced by their life experiences and knowledge or lack of. So, how much should you value other’s opinions?

Listen to everyone. Follow no one ~ Anonymous

Always LISTEN, with an intent to listen not to dispute or prove the other person WRONG. After listening, think through if the  Opinion makes any sense for you, or is it just something they are telling themselves aloud? Mostly, it’s the other way round. Is there something that can be better by implementing the opinion? Think Through and filter well.  At first, the entire task looks tedious but it’s a great way to subjectively analyze unscientific opinions and either accept/ reject them.

A better way to evaluate opinions is to calmly reflect or meditate upon them to understand the root cause.  My days are much better after understanding where people’s opinions come from.

 

On closing note, I would like you to leave you with a single thought –

“If someone isn’t what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”
― Paulo CoelhoThe Alchemist

And another of my favorite –

“Don’t judge a man by his opinions, but what his opinions have made of him.”
― Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

 

Have a good day and keep rocking!!

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What’s your attitude to the problems in Life?

problemAs a wise man once said,  life is all about moving from one problem to another as long as we are alive. But, how we live is largely determined by how we approach the problem rather than the problem itself.

As my personal introspection deepens everyday, I noticed two kinds of approaches to any problem in life –  Keep giving perennial excuses or DO/ Think of a Solution or way out of the problem. Even if the solution means to leave the situation as it is, and take no action.

My husband is the wisest person I know – and one of the traits that makes him wise is the approach he takes towards things in Life.  100% of the times , his approach is DO, rather than provide EXCUSES. And that directly results in lot of positivity within and around you.  To my dismay, I noticed myself providing excuses and solutions on a random basis as responses to problems. And finally figured out that – ” If you want to do something, you WILL find ways to do it. If you do not want to do something, you WILL find ways to do it”.

vivekananda

 

A large part of providing excuses comes from habit. And these habits are formed at some point in life – which tells us we are inadequate physically, emotionally and financially.  As we tell these things over and over – the mind shrinks in capacity and never lets us try new things.  Our office staff boy, who gives me delicious tea got recently married.  He is barely educated and earns a lot less. His wife is a nurse, and he has enrolled her in Post Graduate for Nursing. Do you think he has enough money? Do you think his wife has enough time to perform daily chores, go to college and look after the family?  As long as they think – they DO. And that is what brings GOOD changes in Life.

Life is a series of habits playing one after the other TWICE – once in your head as thoughts and second to others as ACTIONS. I devised a simple experiment to catch hold of myself whenever I give an excuse, which was way more times than I imagined.  Upon further analysis, I found that all the things I was providing excuse had a common theme – I was afraid of doing them, due to some bad or lack of experiences in that area.  So, now –  I perfectly know that 99% of my fears are baseless and am not afraid to tell myself back that this is a bad habit I need to kick out.

How?

By doing things step by step. Little by little.  I enrolled myself in Java free course on Udemy, just to get out of the habit of looking at things in a complex way. Everyday, I do 2-3 videos and am well on the way.  Now, I know how to get myself out of an excuse to try new things.

It’s okay to provide excuses, as long as you are able to justify them. Cultivate the habit of questioning your excuses along every step –  you will find them disappear in no time.

Have a good day and keep rocking!

 

Does our Education Teach us to Communicate well?

I was in office after couple of days, and was summoned to my CEO’s room in 5 minutes. Wondering what’s burning, I went in.  Another manager was in and the feedback was on the batch joined couple of months back.  I trained them on the domain skills and knew the batch joiners fairly well. It seems the other manager had assigned them a project last thursday, and I assigned them a domain specific practice project on Friday with deadline today.  All the team promptly( around 15 people) stopped working on the other manager’s work and were only working on mine for the whole week.

“We cannot have people who cannot multi task. Please educate them about our culture”, said my CEO.

I called the entire batch into the room. While I can talk on tech stuff for days together, lecturing a batch of people on culture and responsibility was something new to me as well. But, as you grow in career, you need to learn stuff along the way.  Somehow, I did not believe that the team was irresponsible and want to run off at 6 PM everyday.  It must be a severe miscommunication, I thought to myself.  Spoke to every single one of them, while making them sit in the group.  More than half were waiting for some communication from the other manager regarding some module allocation. NONE of them went ahead and asked him. When I asked them- ” WHY?”, they did not have an answer.  Mind you, these are not freshers but everyone in the room has an average of 2+ years of corporate experience. So, what’s lacking?

The ability to communicate. The ability to ask questions.

Our Excellent Education system turns inquisitive kids into dumb rule obeying adults. All the batch was worried on meeting my deadline of friday – but were comfortable to stop the work and never check with the other manager.  After an hour of trying to get them to communicate,  I think i fairly succeeded a bit. They did get the message, but did not appear like kids scolded by an angry teacher.

The first things people need to be taught once they enter the workforce – Become KIDS again and ask questions to your heart’s content.  People will like you for talking, and being communicative.

Another weird incident happened last week, more on that in the next post.

Have a good day and keep rocking!!