Yet Another Honor Killing

Yet another honor killing. My morning was ruined when I saw the news on front page – a lady was killed by her parents because she married a guy from another caste. We had a heated discussion at home, a rare scenario where everyone contributed to it.

Here’s my take on this incident –
No parent would want to “kill” their kids after bringing them up, with all they have. I would also not think that a normal family with working father and stay-at-home-mom who raised their family would adopt such radical thoughts and actions. So, the family must have had a hint of crime in their legacy, coupled with really ill-meaning relatives. And the parents are at fault for not being “parents” enough – birthing is easy, bringing up is not.

They did not trust their daughter enough to make good decisions in life, and got swayed away by the people who lead them to such atrocities.

No, I will not blame parents for this. Any parent is a human first, with all their weaknesses and prejudices, and then a parent. So, things don’t change all of a sudden when kids are born. In fact, they never change. I knew families where the kids went their way and the parents never accepted them. It’s just too hard to change the perceptions, even though you and your loved one are at risk.

I would have loved if the parents have tried to trust their upbringing more than the relatives, tested the guy with all their will and accept him whole heartedly. But, instead they filled their heart with hatred that their heart did not cry when they killed a part of it.

Back to the girl’s side of the story. She loved this guy for 3 years now.

The problem with girls is they want EVERYTHING – the boy friend from intercaste marriage, his parents happy with her, and her parents double happy with her decisions.

Now, when you are wise enough to choose a life partner, why are you not practical to understand that this is one of the toughest choices in life a lady has to make – the guy or parents. Sure, try and convince parents with all your might. If feasible, go with them and try to forget him. But, if you are adamant enough that he is the one for you, can you please safeguard your life from potential dangers? Why be half-bold? Give all in, get married and don’t be in touch for a while until things cool down. She could have done all sorts of things, except informing them that she did get married against her wishes. The nicest of parents would take 6 months to 1 year to get to terms with their daughter’s decision. So, while you adjust at the life you wanted, why can’t you give time for your parents to reconcile and adjust?

All said and done, parents are to be partly blamed as they did not trust their upbringing enough. But, I would blame the girl more than anything else – If you are bold enough to make choices in life, be practical and anticipate the things that can happen. Protect yourself against them. Where is the life of dreams if you are dead ? And guess who gets my sympathies – the guy. I wonder he would ever be able to forgive himself for supporting the girl and marrying her regardless.

As someone who did go through the phase of convincing my parents for my better future, I strongly believe that a girl should be bold and practical enough, if going in the path of her dreams, rather than the arranged marriage route.

Have a great day and keep rocking!!

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2 thoughts on “Yet Another Honor Killing

  1. Veena says:

    This is not a fit of rage incident. This is a preplanned one and they might have got enough time to give a second thought before performing such a heinous crime. But they were totally convinced that their daughter committed a sin by marrying a person from different caste. I do agree with the point that weaknesses and prejudices don’t change all of a sudden but it is that narrow minded and foolish behaviour that led to their daughter’s death. I heard that wisdom grows with age but many instances in our society prove that ignorance and obstinance grow with age.
    She is 26 years old and there must be at least some emotional bonding between them which made her believe that they would accept the marriage. But their thirst for prestige downplayed the love for their child. She is independent enough to marry a person of her choice and they must be old enough to accept the fact. Is it now prestigious for them to spend the rest of life being guilty in everyone’s and their own eyes? Definitely not. They totally deserve the highest form of punishment.
    Finally, in my opinion, nobody can influence a person to do something unless he/she is inclined towards that.

    • Yes Veena, I totally agree with your view point. It is definitely not appreciable for parents to go killing their kids if they go against their wishes.

      All said and done, the girl had no power to change her parent’s minds. As a responsible adult, she should have the practicality of saving her life once she has taken such bold steps. End of the day, whatever happened to her is because of her immature thinking that people who did not accept them for 3 years came knocking the next day, and she chose to naively believe them.

      We can go blaming people and things for what happens o us in life, but we always have the choice of taking necessary steps. Everything starts with us.

      Cheers.

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