I am not a big fan of celebrating Women’s Day. To me, the only reason to celebrate “days” to tell people the importance of something in our lives. When you don’t exist without a women, do we need to yell and tell about the significance of women in our lives? NOPE. It also signifies, as few friends joked with me today that we give a “day” and the rest 364 are essentially “MEN’s” days.
When I don’t go gaga over the So called “Special” Day, due to the hype surrounding it, I was thinking about women in my leisure time yesterday. When I took my daughter to school for her “Show & Tell” event in the morning, followed by a startup event at Lounge47, and finally during my interactions with fellow moms at the park, few things struck me out of no where. These are somethings I’ve always advocated fellow women do, which I sadly do not see women doing enough. In no particular order, these are 5 things women need to realize –
a) Think Far, but Stay in the Present : Ladies, come on. Even before we get married ,we dream of how to manage things once kids are in our lives. Once kids are there, we wonder how to get them married, and protect them against this dangerous and evil world, while teaching them moral values. Life is big juggle and it’s better to deal with situations as and when they arise. It’s wired in female brain to have “web thinking”, but sometime we overdo it. By forcing ourselves to place priority on the current, compared to the unknown future will help definitely make the future somewhat better.
b) It’s normal to doubt oneself on capabilities : I’m deeply guilty of this one, all the time. With so many things to manage – job, kid and TheTechPanda, I often find myself shortchanging one of the aspects of my lives – it’s just not possible without burning myself out. Even when I put in 24 hours of time into one of these things, they leave me even dissatisfied about the things I could have done better. I should have spent time interviewing more people, I should write more often says the TTP voice. Come home and follow latest telecom trends and contribute in side projects which will help me advance my career says the JOB Voice. Chuck all, teach Saanvi rhymes, feed her nutritious food and cherish the fast wading moments says my MOM Voice. On top of all this, my own expectations of myself are so high that I ALWAYS fall short. Did I catch my favorite movie this weekend? Can I go and jog a bit in solitude? Did I write my personal blog? That moment, my inner voice tells me – “You are not just capable of managing so many things. Just QUIT one or few until your life becomes SANE”. Perfect. While this happens to me all the time – I just realized that it’s how women are. With my countless conversations of women – they always have this thought no matter what they do – house wife, working women, entrepreneur or a politician. Don’t trust me – next time read what these women say during the Interviews and biographies. So, it’s perfect to doubt oneself. That just shows good intentions to be the perfectionist in every part of life. As long as one of the areas is not severely short changed, just keep going.
c) Are the compromises worth it? – This is one thing I feel deeply about. We all make compromises in life – mostly after getting married. Although I would vouch for getting lucky in this life with an ever supportive husband and in-laws, lot of women have made some major compromises in life. While I do not advocate breaking up for an intolerable mother in law, but know your limits. While nagging and a bit-of-irresponsible spouse is okay, there are some traits that are just not acceptable. Know the compromises you are making in life, and consciously make them. With big decisions in life, the stakes are higher.
d) To be financially Independent – This is a MUST. No matter what you do – get financially independent. It’s not matter of getting to buy the dresses or cosmetics you want – something deep down changes when you know you have the capability to lead life independently. While lot of young women these days start working soon after college – they work because they studied so hard to get the job. Know the reason for your job, and preserve the confidence that comes by being a working women.
e) Put yourself first on priority list, NOT Last – A happy mom is the best mom. A happy lady is the best spouse. A satisfied women is the best daughter in law. Get it? It’s no exaggeration that, as women we should be our first priority while we blissfully place ourselves last in the pretend of “looking out” for family. I have learnt this lesson very early in life – when I blamed everyone to not be able to pursue what I wanted. “Who’s stopping you – but yourself? “, asked my wise husband. Now, I make a point to keep myself as one of the important stakeholders in my life along with my people, and other stuff in life. Within 15 mins of waking up – eat something. READ that favorite book. Do things that matter to yo u. As long as you don’t violate the basic family rules, I wouldn’t think anyone would advocate you to give up on everything you life. In fact, the opposite always holds true. I’ve seen lot of families where the husbands encourage their wife to take up something, but the only time they do it when their kid start full time and they need something to fill void.
Take time out, and do things you deeply care about. It would make you a better and happy person. This will percolate into all your relationships and everyone will get used to it, eventually a bit later.
There’s one more thing I’d like to add from my recent read ‘The Power of Habit’ –
It’s all About Habits. If there’s something you’d like to do in life but can’t – find the habits that are stopping it. And CHANGE them. Life is all about being a better person you can in all walks of life.
Happy Women’s Day!
Have a good day and keep rocking!!