Marriage: Love Or Arranged?

I sit in the theater, eyes dreamy wondering in my heart whether  I would meet someone who would love me as intensely as Suriya loves Asin, in the blockbuster Ghajini.  One of the major reasons why the movie is a hit is because of the narration of romance between the lead actors.  Every girl wishes to have a never-before wedding, but most importantly a never-sad marriage. She wishes that, her husband understand her deeepest desires and fears, and treat her like her father treats her – like a princess.  So, where does she get this – when she selects on her own or when she trusts her parents with that one big decision in her life, and goes along with them?

Not all girls are raised the same. Some independent and fierce, some soft and still hiding behind their mom’s face after their post graduation.  Some still come from broken & unhappy families, nurturing a lot of thoughts they do not even know they exist. Some see their friends suffering, and have already developed some false prejudices around marriage. Yeah, girls come in all sizes of physical and emotional packages.

It’s only fair enough to say that one size never fits all. That’s why we have so many types of jeans available these days – Boot cut, Straight fit, skinny, Supa Skinny and Second Skin.  Yes, the same girl could wear many kind of jeans, but there are certain jeans that will look odd or will not fit the girl at all.  Although some girls can get away with the concept of no-marriage, eventually everyone needs to settle down – and you ought to get married.  So, you have to pick your jeans – but which one? Unfortunately in marriage, we cannot keep trying in many different shops and many different types and sizes until we find the one we like and fit.

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Love Marriage comes in handy here. Although I wouldn’t like to suggest that, people doing love marriages go dating until they find their Prince Charming. But, in an informal environment – you get to know the person before you have different thoughts about them. You know the friend of friends, and you get to hang around and know their history and geography before plunging into their mental territory.  There’s no hurry – you can take your time and if you are interested – you can keep cross checking yourself until one day you are dead sure that you’d be rather with this person and take all the calculated risks.

But, what if –  the person fooled you? What if, they always managed to see you in their good mood and happy circumstances? What if you never get your parents blessings?  Why should I take such risks in my life – when I have my parents to do the initial filtering for me?

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Yes, and so absolutely true. A comparatively risk-free setting, and you get to know the person with the intention of marrying them. With time things change. If you do a bit of hanging out, atleast on mobile phone with the prospect – you’d know. Trust me, in their heart of hearts, girls know the kind of guy they are ending up with. If they are faking, they are only betraying themselves.

My two cents are – Whatever way you choose, take your time. Love is not choosen or decided to happen, it just happens.  when it happens, inspect it again and again and (sorry, again!!) to make sure it’s love forever and not until the first argument happens, involving his or your family.

If you go via the safe route – still take your time please. Have time before engagement and marriage.  Get to know them as much as you can – it’s similar to given the chance of tying our jeans 100 times before you buy – you still have the capability to reject.  And once given a chance, you know what to do.

Concluding with this wonderful quote on marriage –
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person”.

Not surprisingly, it doesn’t mention whether it’s love or arranged. Good Luck.

 

PS: This is my entry to www.facebook.com/LoveYaArrange.

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Author: Saraswathi Pulluru

Aham Bhrahmasmi.

2 thoughts on “Marriage: Love Or Arranged?”

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