This particular thought process kept occurring to me every now and then, through out my day. So, I thought I should pen it down.
Few of my friends are in unhappy marriages. And by unhappy, they have lost freedom and identity as a person. When I take the time to listen to them, they tell me that – they knew that the guy was not right for them during their period between engagement and marriage. Their intuitions told them. Mind you, all these girls are around 25 yes, have a post graduate education and few years of work experience as well. So, my next logical question to them- then, why did you go ahead and marry him? The answers vary – the underlying meaning is the same. They never trusted their intuitions. They never shared their feeling with anybody else. They never thought that, this incompatibility could ruin their life. And, trust me it did.
On the other hand, I know quite few people who have ruined their life’s equally by doing just the opposite- listening to their intuitions too much, and never listening to people’s advise.
Take my case. There have been few instances in my life where I told my opinions to my parents, but respected their decision in the end. But then, there is also my marriage decision where I just went ahead with my gut, and they supported me. Even though I was good at knowing my intuitions, I still respected and considered other people’s opinions. I am lucky to have this attitude towards life, atleast I think so.
I am an Indian, currently staying in Sydney. When I look at the local girls here, I see them as highly confident, and strong willed. Indian upbringing places too much emphasis on respecting elders bullshit that, children always remain children. The lucky ones, parents realize that the children are grown up and convert their status to friends.
Many of my friends have kids. They often keep telling me on how their kid has an opinion and would not change it for anything. His would these kids turn out in the future?
I want my daughter to trust her intuitions at every point of her life. And, take opinions from parents and have the capability to give good thought before taking decisions. In fact, as a girl – this would be her biggest challenge.