Raising Girls

Off late, to add to what I often think – few things I’ve heard from my friends and close people reinforced my thinking on how to raise girls.

Yes, Conventional wisdom.  Raise Girls Strong. Raise Girls Independent. Raise them to stand up for themselves.

But, at the same time : Raise Girls to blend in.  Give benefit of doubt.  Realize his parents are like hers, who cannot change at the tip of hat.  Realize not every man wants to live off his wife’s money. Realize just like the girl, guy also has lot of plans that have perfectly jeopardized because you entered his life.  And he is trying to help, genuinely.  Like you – he needs time to adjust.

If there’s one thing I’ll tell my girl, that will be –  LISTEN. EMPATHIZE. TAKE TIME TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE ASKING OF HIM, HIS FAMILY AND LIFE.

More than anything else –  It’s good to stand up for one selves, but never at the cost of misunderstanding good people and burning bridges and hearts.

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False Expectations

Little Melancholic mooood today.  May be, lack of sleep.

Every one I speak to at work, is so unhappy.  Want to get out, do many things.

My colleague wants to learn DevOps, some one else wants to open their company and what not. I’ve had these thoughts for long – penning down first time.

It is really unfair for a person, object or profession to satisfy the limitless, infinite potential filled human soul.

People say they are unhappy at JOB. And what do you expect from a job?

Money

Self Satisfaction

Challenge

Flexibility

New Technologies, Cutting Edge

And all this from a place, which is driven by Margins  & Profits. Not blaming the employers, but there is only so much anyone can do. What you experience at workplace largely depends on who you report to, and what does you day look like. Nevertheless, its is extremely rare to get a guy who has all his criteria satisfied.

But, why look at JOB to fulfill everything?

Another pet peeve of people is MARRIAGE and SPOUSE. We want so many contradicting things in our life, that lot of times we have no clue what we really want. Only one thing is sure – every one needs someone who loves them unconditionally, no matter what.  But, apart from that – it is unfair for your spouse to meet your wide range of emotional needs.

That’s why. Side Businesses are created.  Hobbies are born. Friends are kept.

Don’t be guilty.

Go on a coffee date with a friend.

Enrol that course and get your kick by starting freelancing.

Sing that song, and dance that tune.

Everytime you are frustrated with someone / something / someplace –  It’s not their fault not to live upto your expectations, it’s your fault to have those on them!

Have a good day and keep rocking!

 

 

#MovieReview3 : A Death in the Gunj

Last night, I scrolled on my Amazon Prime to see if there’s anything new. and Viola! I saw this movie available for streaming. I was screaming with joy, but only inside.  This is Konkana Sen Sharma’s debut directorial, and I wanted to watch it in theater. Couldn’t do since no company at home – so i made some snacks, powered my laptop, put the earphones and snuggled on sofa with a nice comforter while the movie played along.

The film is set in the town of McCluskieganjBihar (now in Jharkhand), India, during the winter of 1979. Its a small family reunion, with father,mother and daughter visiting their parents. Accompanying are the nephew, and the mother’s friend.  Also seen frequently at home are childhood friends who come to keep them company.

There’s nothing to do there – no TV, no cement.  People amuse  themselves by calling fake ghosts, playing kabaddi and dancing to bangla folk songs.  The film’s main protagonist, Shuntu is a reserved boy who is grieving his father, fails his exams and comes on vacation without informing his mother.

What follows is a display of how we treat Shuntu in the common of household situations. The mood, the music and his emotions.  There are multiple threads all woven into one into the movie.  Shuntu is there. All along. When a kid needs something to do. When people need custard. All along, people call him and get things done. The sadistic pleasure people get by making him go inside his shell –  picture perfect.

Ranveer Shorey, newly married and still in affair with Kalki.

Gulshan and Tillotama with young kid. Want to spend some time alone, without the kid. Doesn’t ask what the kid is doing, as long as they get to do what they want.

8 Year Old Girl. Not entertained by rustic village charm, needs somebody to play and talk with her.

Late Om Puri and Tanuja. Couple growing old.  Forgetting things, cannot stand each other.

The closed ones, shun Shuntu and not once we hear anyone telling his name – Shyamlal.  He is there, invisible. Konkana shows the natural degradation of his mood and how no one seems to care. Gun is visible in parts, only to make a natural entry in the climax where he shoots himself.  Kalki, Tillotama, Ranveer – everyone’s flaws are so wide visible when they are with Shuntu. It shows what as a human we are capable of doing, when the other does not revolt.  He is a brainy one, but cannot get a handle of his own life.

The climax is heart breaking. Watch it to feel it.   The background score was haunting, and Vikrant Massey –  you have a new fan.  It is hard to depict what he has shown on the screen – for 1 and half hour.   There are many minute details packed in the film – this is like an old book. Everytime I see this – I am sure to discover something I missed last.

Watch it when you have some free time afterwards. It helps to stay quiet for a while, and sip your favorite beverage and reflect on what you witnessed on the screen.

My rating :  5/5

 

#MovieReview2 : Ask Me Anything!

After I packed the house clean, I put my hands around my waist and looked around. What a beauty! It was 12:15 AM in the morning. Ideally I should be sleeping. But, I wanted to waste some time.  This one was a recommendation from a dear friend – but just to watch for the first 5 minutes.

Got it on Youtube –

 

1 hour and 37 minutes. The music in the introduction –  I heard it and made up my mind that I will watch this in full.  Here’s the intro from internet –

A young woman (Britt Robertson) chronicles her sexual adventures in an anonymous blog that exposes her innermost desires, shames and secrets.

Its about a girl who is sexually abused as a kid, grows up to like older guys – married or engaged. She never understands why, and tends to go with the flow.  No drama, No preachings – everyone is doing what they feel like doing. Mom gets engaged to a “moustache” guy, Dad ends up with an Indian and the girl has no clue whose kid she’s carrying at that point in time.

The movie shows how guys in perfectly satisfied relationships can easily go for an affair, if the girl looks all willing and the risk is worth taking. Scary! The end is apt, she disappears from everyone around her,  and the mother tries to find her via  a blog.

We are not shown a lot of her blogging, but she posts there when life isn’t happening. And one scene she writes – “If you have a life, you don’t blog. In fact, YOU DON’T READ BLOGS TOO!”.  That’s true for her –  but in general, not.

The guy in depression she starts hanging out with – their conversations are the best in the movie.  Not a very light movie, but nothing to take away too.

Review :  3/5

#ArtnCraft1 : Never Ending Card

 

Hiya fellas!  This is something I do regularly with my kids – creating some random things found on Youtube! I thought its good to keep recording. As I come home at 7 today,  Saanvi has a demand – GREETING CARD!  I was tired and in no mood to make it. We bargained for a fast dinner she eat by herself. And this was one of the fastest dinners to date – 20 mins! 😀

So, here we go –

 

Incredibly easy and fun to make. We took 20 minutes to complete it end to end. I sticked up on the wrong side for the first time, but got right the second. At the end, I realized I enjoyed the activity more than her!!

Stay tuned for more!

#MovieReview1: The Revolutionary Road

A friend suggested this movie as a reason to me, when I asked why he was depressed on a particular day. I was going on Hyderabad trip, and downloaded this movie on Amazon Prime.  Watched it over two sessions and spent some time thinking about it.

Starring Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio, its about a middle aged couple with kids.  Plot unfolds as with other movies – boring job, comfortable life and school going kids.  Settled routine, and frequent fights. The lady decides to go behind her husband’s dreams – to move to Paris from Revolutionary Road, where they stay.

Al hunky dory for a while, until husband gives up on dreams to settle a little more, and to handle the unexpected pregnancy. And the wife cannot! The burden of seeing a dream and watch it crumble under societal pressures – is unbearable to watch. How a person getting treated for mental disorder can get what perfectly normal people like us cannot is a subtle and hard hitting theme in the story. Kids are shown wherever required, and the very fact where Kate Winslet feels their kid is a mistake – shows how unintentional things come out of one’s mouth in desperation to make their case!

In the end the father remains with the kids, and vacates their pretty house on Revolutionary Road. I was at mom’s and had nothing better to do. Mused over the movie, and one question I have no answer to –

Should you succumb to your routine and stop seeing dreams?  Are you not allowed to have dreams that have no definitive success but will make you alive again?

Watch this for Kate and Leo’s amazing performances – raw, real and restrained.

 

 

#Shortfilm1 : The School Bag

While I watch a lot of short films, have never chronicled and recorded my thoughts around that.  Starting with this critically acclaimed short, that got lot of fame in the recent past.

 

 

15 minutes long. Mother and son.  Close up shots and genuine emotions on the face.  While I do not want to spoil the fun by revealing what it is – the director has taken a real life incident and narrated it on a personal level. Terrorism kills – even at home.

Watch it.

Awesomesaras rating:  5/5