So, I turn 37 today. 7th August. A very happy space of mind, as of now 🙂 I am not a fan of celebrating birthdays and doing anything special, but my husband treats it like a kumbh mela 😉
I would like to note down the 7 things that life taught me in these 37 years, in no particular order –
- Stop blame and playing the victim card : For long, I thought I never had any hobby because my parents never enrolled me when I was young and now that I am old, I cannot enroll in any. What a stupid assumption that was I realized, when I enrolled into Hindustani Classical music classes 3 months back. In fact, I ordered a Harmonium which will be delivered to home in a couple of days. My trainer told me I picked up quite fast for my age! As I introspect, I realized that I was independent and earning since the age of 22, and I had my first kid at the age of 29. I had 7 years of life – with money, freedom and brain. I did absolutely nothing to create a hobby. Now I realize – there is no better time to do anything than NOW. And there’s proof – my singing Bhairavi Raga, something that I thought I will never pull off in my entire lifetime!!!
2. Give before you ask : I’ve always been of this attitude but there are plenty of life experiences that affirmed my belief in this. I’ve seen in professional and personal life that the acute understanding of the context you are in, the natures of people around you and what their values systems are – should pretty much give an idea of what they are missing in their lives and careers. You should aim to give exactly that, and keep giving selflessly. Results will come – happy marriages, promotions but the emotional chord you will strike with them is priceless. You will be surprised how they will choose you to tell their pains and deepest secrets just because you chose to be just there.
3. Action over Thoughts : I’ve always been the “theory” type, and that has worked wonders in my career. Never thought that has been adversely impacting the things I desperately wanted to achieve in my life. Meaning to lose 20 kg off my body since the time I can remember, but I would have read more books, fitness blogs than the number of times I hit the gym or mat. I told myself and everyone around that I have stubborn fat which is hard to lose. While that is partly true, I used that as an alibi not to hit the gym. Now that I have taken the 100-day exercise challenge – I realize how flexible my body is, and how it is responding to the exercises I do on the mat. And how good I feel after I did it.
4. Focus, Focus and Focus : I learnt this the very hard way. Learnt is incorrect, for I haven’t’ applied it in any area of my life. To achieve anything, you cant spread yourself too thin. Cant have new goals every other week. Need to focus, be patient and persistent with the most important thing you want to accomplish. So, while the list to achieve is pretty long, I did not manage to strike off a single one off it – just because I have no focus. Hopefully, can do atleast one by next birthday!
5. Life is in the little moments : I’ve always been a big bang person. I am good only if I have accomplished something newspaper worthy or a president medal worthy. As the life passed on, I realized that watching my daughter recite her rhymes without blinking an eye, or watching my husband ace his go-live in the project or my sister sending her unbelievable yoga poses – heck, drinking filter coffee undisturbed. Long shower. There was soooo many things that made me happy and fulfilled. Ofcourse big achievements still lure me, but now that I know the improvement area – FOCUS, atleast I stopped beating myself over it.
6. Happiness is a state of mind : I learnt this from my mother in law, who maintains exactly the same state of mind regardless of situations and how the people behave around her. It’s not easy for someone like me who likes to respond to every small stimulus life gives her. This goal is aspirational for me.
7. Look after yourself first : As someone who takes pride in taking care of other people – this one was a tough learning for me. Take care of your physical appearance, your mind , your soul before attempting to repair or suggest anyone else what to do. Workout for the body, Reading for the mind and Hobby for the soul.
8. Financial Discipline & Awareness : Despite earning for 15 odd years, I never cultivated the awareness and financial discipline. It still looks like a maze to me – FD, PPF and other stuff. This goal is aspirational to me.
9. People do things from their context, not yours : Someone stops talking suddenly. Some one bitches about you in your circle. Someone doesn’t share stuff when you have been giving all along. Earlier, I used to attribute these to something I didn’t do or talk or behave. Now, I am pretty clear that people do things to please themselves – not you. I have made peace with not being the center and reason for all of their actions and responses 😉 You can be the center only for your actions, and not anyone else.
So, I clearly know the areas I need to improve on, and will be patient with myself while I make baby steps towards the same. And will keep celebrating every small victory and treat myself like I would treat everyone else!
Happy day and keep rocking!